I heard part of a story on NPR today. Talk of the Nation had Janell Burley Hofmann as a guest. The talk was about technology and teens. This immediately piqued my interest as I may be speaking on this very topic in the next couple of months at our local hospital.
Janell recently gave her 13 year old an iphone. She had a set of rules for it’s use. I found the rules interesting, thoughtful, completely fair and most importantly ~ good practice.
But all of that is a talk for another post. In my attempt to find the list of rules I came across Janell’s blog and started reading. One post really stood out.
“Mom, I’m Fat”
Janell recounts a time when her 7 year old daughter is looking at herself in the mirror convinced she is fat. Janell eloquently describes what each mother would feel in this situation; desperation, powerless-ness, uncertainty, anger…. especially when you’ve spent the better part of your parenting years feeding your daughters “girl-power”.
The majority of the post is about Janell’s reactions. Ultimately it’s a wonderfully inspiring and powerful story, but sad in one very poignant way. Janell has raised her daughters with complete self-confidence and acceptance. In her own words:
This child — my first and wildly celebrated daughter — was breastfed girl power. I read picture books with only central female characters, I insisted she wrestle her big brothers, demanded family call her words like smart and brave as much as cute and adorable. I tell her we are all different — straight and thin to round and plump and millions of ways in between. I tell her it’s what makes us all beautiful. Unconvinced.
She did everything right! And her beautiful daughter still felt fat. What saddens me here is the pervasive attitudes in our culture on female body image. I certainly don’t know the answer, but recognition is certainly the first step.
You should read the full story.